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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23460601">Fifty Times</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBlueBook/pseuds/LittleBlueBook'>LittleBlueBook</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fifty Moments [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, F/M, Getting Back Together</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2019-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2019-11-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:01:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23460601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBlueBook/pseuds/LittleBlueBook</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a relationship which ends can begin again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Carmen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Fifty Moments [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1120968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fifty Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Based on the <a href="%E2%80%9C">50 Sentences</a> challenge on live journal, the theme set was Delta.</p><p>Unbeta'd!</p><p>Please leave feedback in the form of comments, constructive criticism and kudos. Pure hate will be promptly made fun of and deleted.</p><p>After all "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>As Sonny closed the door behind him he breathed a sigh of relief, he regretted not leaving sooner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apples rotted uneaten in the fruit bowl, neither of them had the energy to clean anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wished he’d allowed himself to let go sooner, when he first noticed the cracks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every little thing he’d loved now bugged him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hated that she still knew Barba’s coffee order but still didn’t know his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wished he didn’t miss her sleeping beside him, the bed felt so empty without her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though he was the one who had left, her absence weighed heavily on him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still he had closed that door, locked it, and thrown the key.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That first night he had drowned his sorrows in sweet amber liquid. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He regretted the hangover when he dragged himself into work the next day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He regretted it more when he saw her standing in front of the court house, coffee in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He questioned his decision to end it then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he first met her he fell quickly, he fell hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every kiss, every touch, felt as though he was on fire.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never dreamed of feeling this way about anyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt as though he was flying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the fire burnt out and everything tasted like ashes in his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was still beautiful to him, from her dark curls to her painted toes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though it was over it was hard to bury those feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Autumn turned to winter, turned to spring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn’t occur to him that she would still be working there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her greeting sounded hollow</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He flashed a smile and told her it was his first day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She congratulated him, “An ADA? I hope it’s everything you wanted.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She floated away like a dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His first few days were a blur, he felt lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The law felt rusty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then one day a fresh coffee was left on his desk, she remembered his order.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Old feelings began to surface.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he sipped his coffee he remembered the peace he had felt with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned, wondering why he had let himself poison everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next time he ran into her he complimented how pretty she looked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the sky opened up and poured down they ran for cover.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I regret how things ended.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sent her a dozen roses on Valentines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t leave a card.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The defense attorney on his first case was a snake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the verdict was read, snow began to fall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was a solid defense,” she murmured, handing him a coffee.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One coffee followed, another and another.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny began to feel more like himself, she had always bought out the best in him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon he was seeking her out, asking her advice, wanting more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the seasons turned warm he finally worked out the courage to ask her to dinner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A kiss stolen, almost taboo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sonny stamped out the ugly thought, that they would crash and burn again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her sweet smile finally won the war that raged inside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the anniversary of their last day they swam in the ocean, a new hope sparked between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her kiss felt like home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Summer turned to Autumn turned to Winter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched the fire burn, fingers tangled, finally happy.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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